Category: Joke Lang

May 2nd, 2017 by Ryan Mavilia

This is a very special Joke Lang article because if you’ve been keeping up with BuzzFCA, we haven’t put up any content for almost 2 months. Ya I know, it’s impressive, but today we’re finally going to have some content for you! Actually let’s make this an even better by saying this is our last article for the semester too! Hopefully we didn’t keep you all waiting so enjoy our list of:

Reasons why we didn’t put up any articles in the past month

  1. We forgot.
  2. We didn’t have ideas.
  3. We were lazy.
  4. Slept all day.
  5. Too busy partying.
  6. Too busy doing other stuff.
  7. It’s Monday night.
  8. Gabby didn’t yell at us for not doing it.
  9. Gave up halfway through writing an article.
  10. We were ded.
  11. PCN
  12. Spring Break
  13. CMSC420 project is killing us on the inside.
  14. Memes got stale.
  15. We forgot(again)
  16. Too busy playing Super Smash Bros.
  17. Was cooking.
  18. My dog ate the article.
  19. We were sick.
  20. Stuck watching Netflix
  21. Busy learning tagalog
  22. Began to doubt ourselves
  23. Try Girls had much better content
  24. Busy watching Try Girls
  25. Too many dank memes ended up frying our brains
  26. Internet died
  27. We got amnesia
  28. Ate too much turon and the potassium from the bananas sent us forward in time by 4 weeks
  29. Spent the time looking for vests for the night of elections
  30. Started selling taho outside of McKeldin
  31. Designed a computer virus which only ended up infecting our own computers
  32. Held prisoner in the dungeon of the CS building because we forgot to comment our code
  33. Busy watching children’s bbq challenge on the TEEBEE
  34. Peter cooked something bad and Marc had to live in the bathroom for a day.
  35. We slipped and polled into the swimming pool
  36. The April showers got our computers wet
  37. Ryan Umagat and his girlfriend were too distracting and noisy.
  38. Marc took a girl on a few dates and Ryan thought about how much he wanted to marry Gabby
  39. Eric punched Ryan and put him in a coma for two weeks
  40. The smoke from the apartment fire killed our brain cells and we couldn’t think for a day.
  41. Kim payed us to stop posting (still not sure why..)
  42. Found some really neat new subreddits /r/lifeofnorman
  43. Busy making new recipes like bibimbap
  44. Worked on a new app for a month straight because we forgot Bitcamp only lasted 3 days
  45. Ran out of ideas for lists
  46. Ran out of list ideas
  47. We couldn’t think of more ideas to put in our lists
  48. Had to catch up on Doble Kara and On The Wings of Love
  49. Lola needed help with the lumpia
  50. Busy finding new roofs to get on top of
  51. Spent a lot of time writing rawr xD to old friends from middle school
  52. Needed to dig up old pictures of people on facebook
  53. Too busy being pogi
  54. Windows 10 updates started to install without our permission and took 5 weeks to complete
  55. Ryan broke his hand (and pride) skateboarding
  56. Applying to jobs for summer
  57. Procrastinating
  58. Chris Kim took Marc and the rest of his roommates gambling.
  59. Too busy buying cabbages from Thomas.
  60. Climbing the ladder on League of Legends and Dota2 at the same time
  61. Wasting time thinking about life after graduation.
  62. Busy listening to Peter Cheung talk about his feels.
  63. Creating a mixtape is hard.
  64. Counting the days before the new season of Game of Thrones comes out.
  65. Afraid that our article would be so bad that Princess Gabby will release her wrath on us.
  66. Needed to execute a few order 66’s
  67. Power outage at courtyards.
  68. Eric didn’t give us any money
  69. College is harddddddddddddddddd 🙁
  70. Ryan lost his contacts and couldn’t see for weeks
  71. We had asbestos in our rooms and had to live on the streets
  72. We forgot that we were on BuzzFCA
  73. Leo didn’t check up on us
  74. People told us to stop writing
  75. Had to try some new KBBQ places out
  76. Honestly we were really just busy, lazy, and burnt out. If you think you are so funny then how about you write an article a week where you think of a bunch of funny things. No seriously. If YOU THINK YOU ARE SO FUNNY HOW ABOUT YOU TRY TO DO THIS. idk tbh lulz rawr xD

Written with love by: Marc and Ryan

Posted in Joke Lang

February 13th, 2017 by Marc Hipona

List of Things to do on Valentine’s Day if you’re Single

Yup that’s right, Valentine’s Day, or what I like to call it “National Singles Awareness Day”, is coming up and BuzzFCA wants to celebrate it with all the single peeps out there! We have come up with a list to help you have fun and enjoy your day while all the couples out there are making out.

Treat Yo Self – It’s a day about love and you should be loving yourself, I know Kendrick Lamar does. So go ahead and treat yourself to whatever you want, just don’t complain to me that you spent all your money just because this article told you to do so.

Check out Fifty Shades Darker – Don’t lie to me, you know you wanted to watch the new installment to Fifty Shades. Gather a group of your friends and watch it together. By watching this masterpiece of a movie (Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 10% lol), you and your friends can all question each other, “why did we watch this movie”.

Use Tinder – Tinder is a great way to meet new people if you swipe yes every time. Just start chatting up with all your matches and vent about how much you hate Valentine’s Day. Maybe, if you’re lucky, you might end up with a date for next year.

Get a free “subscription” – I heard from umm a friend, ya that’s right a friend, that on Valentine’s Day that there are certain free subscriptions on the internet that’ll let you watch many things in HD. You know what I’m talking about ;). You didn’t hear it from here though.

Go to the Gym – Just get your lazy butt off the chair and stop reading this. Get to the gym right now and play some racquetball or whatever other things there is to do at the gym. Valentine’s Day is not a day to be lazy and be lovey dovey #nodaysoff.

Create a list of the Pros of being single – List out everything that’s great about being single. I know there’s a million of them and listing every one of them makes you feel great that you’re not in a relationship.

Do whatever the f*** you want – It’s Valentine’s day and it’s like any other day. You’re all grown adults and you all know how to live your life so why am I telling you what to do on this day. Enjoy the day because it’s on a Tuesday and I know ya’ll don’t have time to do all this stuff on a school day in the middle of the week.

Oh ya, for all those couples out there, I hope y’all enjoying your day too. *cough* no i don’t actually *cough*.

Written by Marc Hipona (And no i’m not a salty single)

Posted in Joke Lang Tagged with:

February 6th, 2017 by Ryan Mavilia

BREAKING: Due to Budget Cuts All FCA Events Moved to the Same Day

We here at BuzzFCA have just received confirmation from FCA’s president Alexis Flores that “All FCA events will be moved to February 18th due to budget constraints.” Alexis declined to comment on what created budget cuts, but many are speculating that it may be because of FCA’s treasurer, Eric Flores. Rumors say that Mr. Flores has been using funds to buy himself pancakes. BuzzFCA is still investigating.

“I don’t know what to do at this point so I’ve decided to just become a cat.” – FCA’s President Alexis “Whiskers” Flores

Many are still confused on how all events are going to take place on the same day, but some logistics have come out. As you probably know FCA’s Gala fundraiser was scheduled for the 18th so all events will occur during that event. The changes we have info on so far goes as follows:

  • PCN will be a 15 minute monologue given by veteran PCN performer Chris Bugtong about the importance of dyeing your hair to show your independence
  • Modern practice will be a one minute choreo of Smashmouth’s hit song “All Star” and it will be choreographed by Brian Puspos’s 3rd cousin, Meeko Malagar
  • Intramurals which usually have many hour long games will instead be a boxing match: Karina Gulanes vs. Katie Medina
  • Cultural practices will be a 5 minute viewing of the eldest Christian Flores performing Malong, Pagapir, and Kuratsa all at the same time.

Obviously things are going to be a lot different. Many have been fighting over how to handle these small time slots. During a recent e-board meeting Historian Josh Geronimo brought out an axe during a debate with Male Sports Coordinator Justin Sorra. Geronimo was quoted as saying, “I’m going to get you for this!!” and then quickly leaving the meeting. The top half of Justin was found two days later in a ravine, so far no suspects have been named.

Everyone is very confused as to what is happening and how things are going to play out.  We’ve been asking members and officers how they felt about the change and here’s what they’ve had to say:

“What da heck? heheheheheh” – Meeko Malagar

”          ” – Vince De Guzman

“It sucks that our money is gone but I think we are handling it well” – Eric Flores (with bits of pancake around his mouth)

“I’m scared, Karina is scary, why do I have to do this?!?!” – Katie Medina

General body meetings have been given their own special hour long time slot in which new members can still get the FCA experience. Everyone will be put into a small room and will be forced to make small talk, or play an icebreaker which an e-board member looked up an hour earlier.

Artist rendition of how awkward the hour long GBM will be.

 

We shall see how it plays out in a couple of weeks. Gala will surely be the most lit event in FCA’s recent history.  Things are becoming quite hectic, but hopefully this will be less dramatic than last years sophomore class… We will continue to update this story as more details come out about the event smorgasbord.

Written by Ryan Mavilia

Posted in Joke Lang Tagged with: ,

January 31st, 2017 by Ryan Mavilia

10 Productive Activities to Start the Semester

1) Start watching On the Wings of Love

2) Bird watching

3) Try chasing some squirrels on campus

4) Look at pictures of puppies on Google

5) Write a politically charged facebook post, worry about what your friends will say, and then delete it out of fear

6) Visit Sky at Kung Fu Tea

7) Read BuzzFCA articles

8) Play pool with FCA friends from the table at Terpzone

9) “Study” at Tawes

10) Play board games/cards at CRAMPS

Posted in Joke Lang