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This is a very special Joke Lang article because if you’ve been keeping up with BuzzFCA, we haven’t put up any content for almost 2 months. Ya I know, it’s impressive, but today we’re finally going to have some content for you! Actually let’s make this an even better by saying this is our last article for the semester too! Hopefully we didn’t keep you all waiting so enjoy our list of:
Reasons why we didn’t put up any articles in the past month
Written with love by: Marc and Ryan
Posted in Joke Lang
List of Things to do on Valentine’s Day if you’re Single
Yup that’s right, Valentine’s Day, or what I like to call it “National Singles Awareness Day”, is coming up and BuzzFCA wants to celebrate it with all the single peeps out there! We have come up with a list to help you have fun and enjoy your day while all the couples out there are making out.
Treat Yo Self – It’s a day about love and you should be loving yourself, I know Kendrick Lamar does. So go ahead and treat yourself to whatever you want, just don’t complain to me that you spent all your money just because this article told you to do so.
Check out Fifty Shades Darker – Don’t lie to me, you know you wanted to watch the new installment to Fifty Shades. Gather a group of your friends and watch it together. By watching this masterpiece of a movie (Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 10% lol), you and your friends can all question each other, “why did we watch this movie”.
Use Tinder – Tinder is a great way to meet new people if you swipe yes every time. Just start chatting up with all your matches and vent about how much you hate Valentine’s Day. Maybe, if you’re lucky, you might end up with a date for next year.
Get a free “subscription” – I heard from umm a friend, ya that’s right a friend, that on Valentine’s Day that there are certain free subscriptions on the internet that’ll let you watch many things in HD. You know what I’m talking about ;). You didn’t hear it from here though.
Go to the Gym – Just get your lazy butt off the chair and stop reading this. Get to the gym right now and play some racquetball or whatever other things there is to do at the gym. Valentine’s Day is not a day to be lazy and be lovey dovey #nodaysoff.
Create a list of the Pros of being single – List out everything that’s great about being single. I know there’s a million of them and listing every one of them makes you feel great that you’re not in a relationship.
Do whatever the f*** you want – It’s Valentine’s day and it’s like any other day. You’re all grown adults and you all know how to live your life so why am I telling you what to do on this day. Enjoy the day because it’s on a Tuesday and I know ya’ll don’t have time to do all this stuff on a school day in the middle of the week.
Oh ya, for all those couples out there, I hope y’all enjoying your day too. *cough* no i don’t actually *cough*.
Written by Marc Hipona (And no i’m not a salty single)
We here at BuzzFCA have just received confirmation from FCA’s president Alexis Flores that “All FCA events will be moved to February 18th due to budget constraints.” Alexis declined to comment on what created budget cuts, but many are speculating that it may be because of FCA’s treasurer, Eric Flores. Rumors say that Mr. Flores has been using funds to buy himself pancakes. BuzzFCA is still investigating.
Many are still confused on how all events are going to take place on the same day, but some logistics have come out. As you probably know FCA’s Gala fundraiser was scheduled for the 18th so all events will occur during that event. The changes we have info on so far goes as follows:
Obviously things are going to be a lot different. Many have been fighting over how to handle these small time slots. During a recent e-board meeting Historian Josh Geronimo brought out an axe during a debate with Male Sports Coordinator Justin Sorra. Geronimo was quoted as saying, “I’m going to get you for this!!” and then quickly leaving the meeting. The top half of Justin was found two days later in a ravine, so far no suspects have been named.
Everyone is very confused as to what is happening and how things are going to play out. We’ve been asking members and officers how they felt about the change and here’s what they’ve had to say:
“What da heck? heheheheheh” – Meeko Malagar
” ” – Vince De Guzman
“It sucks that our money is gone but I think we are handling it well” – Eric Flores (with bits of pancake around his mouth)
“I’m scared, Karina is scary, why do I have to do this?!?!” – Katie Medina
General body meetings have been given their own special hour long time slot in which new members can still get the FCA experience. Everyone will be put into a small room and will be forced to make small talk, or play an icebreaker which an e-board member looked up an hour earlier.
We shall see how it plays out in a couple of weeks. Gala will surely be the most lit event in FCA’s recent history. Things are becoming quite hectic, but hopefully this will be less dramatic than last years sophomore class… We will continue to update this story as more details come out about the event smorgasbord.
Written by Ryan Mavilia
1) Start watching On the Wings of Love
2) Bird watching
3) Try chasing some squirrels on campus
4) Look at pictures of puppies on Google
5) Write a politically charged facebook post, worry about what your friends will say, and then delete it out of fear
6) Visit Sky at Kung Fu Tea
7) Read BuzzFCA articles
8) Play pool with FCA friends from the table at Terpzone
9) “Study” at Tawes
10) Play board games/cards at CRAMPS
Posted in Joke Lang